When the whole world is celebrating a new year and all my frens posting meaningful 2010 reflections or resolutions, to me 1st of January 2010 was just another day in life. I wonder if there is something wrong with me... hahaha.. why is it that everyone is like hopeful for the new year but i feel like it's just another day. I remember the times i would right thank you letters on the 31st of December to all those who have touched my life in the past year and i felt motivated to do so.. but now? hahaha I think i've aged ): ): ): I question the meaning of this New Year Day. It's just another day/reason for pp to club and drink and dance isn't it? Why need a celebration to usher in the New Year?

Amongst all the holidays, the one i enjoy most is christmas :) all the pretty pretty lights. Excuse to do christmas shopping, beautiful decoration. And I love christmas trees :) and of course presents :) Altho christmas is very commercialised but i still do enjoy it alot alot :)
The other holiday that I enjoy is Chinese New Year. At least we got 2 days of holiday for this :) haha and there's all the new year goodies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!goodies goodies!!! >.< and ang baos and and mahjong and family time :) I like chinese new year hahaha altho it can be boring coz all the shops are closed but the level of meaningfulness of CNY is definitely much more than the english new year.

I feel like i'm promoting the holidays ahahaha oh wells... yesterday in church a fren was commenting WOW how much all the youths have changed, grown up in terms of looks and dressing. And how i remained the same! *sobz* hahahaha... oh wells... people grow up and they will never be the same again...

oh and i do have a new year resolution.. or i should say everyday resolution :) to let God be lord over my life :) hee hee :) and to be happy together with baby :)

It's been a long time :) life has been mundane. Work Home Sleep Work Home Sleep haha even saturdays it's just infront of comp day... I can't stand myself being so boring anymore ): anyone pls ask me out ):

It's Christmas time again :) Time to spend money and be happy >.< retail therapy :) hee hee Belinda please tell me what you would like for Christmas >.< ok if u read this before christmas >.<

Sign vanity vanity all is vanity..sometimes i really wonder maybe maybe i'm meant to stay single for the rest of my short life... all i ever do is hurt the pp whom i love and love me ): including my frens.. maybe i should just stay in a cave.. so that i will not be able to hurt anyone anymore....for some weird reason this song was playing in my head... yes it's a very old song..haha..

这一刻突然觉得好熟悉
像昨天今天同时在放映
我这句语气原来好像你
不就是我们爱过的证据

差一点骗了自己骗了你
爱与被爱不一定成正比
我知道被疼是一种运气
但我无法完全交出自己

努力为你改变
却变不了预留的伏笔
以为在你身边那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远
但闭上双眼我还看得见

可惜不是你陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
那一段我们曾心贴着心
我想我更有权力关心你
可能你已走进别人风景
多希望也有星光的投影
努力为你改变
却变不了预留的伏笔
以为在你身边那也算永远
仿佛还是昨天
可是昨天已非常遥远
但闭上双眼我还看得见

可惜不是你陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
可惜不是你陪我到最后
曾一起走却走失那路口
感谢那是你牵过我的手
还能感受那温柔
感谢那是你牵过我的手
还能温暖我胸口

i feel like singing... i wanna go ktv...i want to sing ): will u go with me?

hohohoho.. hello miss varny sng, i have removed your post as requested!!! :)

Sigh in trying to fine varny's post i read thru some of my past postings. In the most recent years? hahahah it was all sad posts ): before tt it was like 110% enthusiasum posts.. hahaha I think i'm easily excitable. Looking back, I question myself the reason for my bloggings and daily ramblings. To share with pp wat i did today? but den wat's msn for den? hahaha ah i don't really noi! But 1 thing never changes. Blogging allows my thots to flow so I can think better :)

and to a LARGE extent I feel like erasing ALL my past posts sia >.< some are so silly and others are just soooo sadddd ): oh wells.. it's all over now... life goes on.. one must look ahead :)

and I guess i don't understand how come last time i have so much to blog, so much thots to share so many things to luff abt >.< I think i've become reclusive ): ): ): I don't want to share anything with anyone anymore! >.< hmph... oh well...home alone for the next 3 days... we'll see wat it brings :)

Ohhhhhhh a side note, I miss all my frens ): from secondary school frens to jc frens to church frens, all the MADDDDDD times we had... we should do tt soon :) one day PLEASE... thanks~ i miss everyone ):

My trusty blog...has been with me.,,,since such a long time... when i was single..to i was attached...to i was single again...n attached again...n it's still here... hahaha even tho i haven't found the time to actually come here to pour my heart out...but your not forgotten :) no worries..

I honestly doubt anyone still comes here to read...if your here i'm honestly very touched that you still care even tho i haven't been updating......nevertheless.....i apologise for my lack of 'action' here hahaha due to the breakdown of my comp >.< it EXPLODED one day..yes exploded with a "PAK" sound...n emitted a burnt smell close to that of burnt rubber/metal..hahaha yeahhh >.<
Thank to bf that I got a new comp now :) ok not exactly new but...ummm new enuff hahaha

at this weird hour of the day.. i was wondering wat music should i listen to...den this song came to mind: Galvin's <I Belong to You>
a song that brings back so much memories...especially the times in youth camp. That was the most enjoyable time of my life. That's all I can say. :)

i miss everyone... i miss the old days... but it will never come back. all i can do is to treasure wat i have now so that i wouldn't have to regret not having lived it without regret.

for everyone who has passed by my life... thank you. however small, you...yes YOU have made an impact in my life. on the top of my mind, i miss Janice n Lynette the most... hahaha i wonder when... when can we hang out like last time...of if we would ever sleep over at each other's house ever again..... and it was really my fault coz i didn't treasure the frenship they offered.... but i do love your both very much...n i still do so very very very much now :)  bleh..not like they'll see it....

ok i shall stop tokking to myself late into the night.. n scaring everyone..haha goodnight world.....

-some things when lost will never come back-

it's been a while >.< i've been procrastinating..altho i have so much to say!!!! >.<

oh wells..life's been work work work work ): there's more and more stuffs to do each day ): and my exam's on friday..opps i should really be studying now..oh wells...or rather i should be sleeping already at this hour ): SIGH... oh wells oh wells...

i'm not ready for friday's paper ): but i'll still do my best and let God do the rest :) ok i'm sleepy..i promise a longer update next time :) until den ^.^

O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s a light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free!

Refrain:
Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Through death into life everlasting
He passed, and we follow Him there;
Over us sin no more hath dominion—
For more than conquerors we are!

Refrain

His Word shall not fail you—He promised;
Believe Him, and all will be well:
Then go to a world that is dying,
His perfect salvation to tell!

Refrain

for some strange reason, this song kept playing in my head after we sang it this morning. for some reason what i felt was impt. what i was holding on to so tightly. what was irritating me, upsetting me. what i love. all became so not important. everything grew strangely dim. like a burden released from me. i feel free and alive once again.

a sunday christian. someone who lives his/her life randomly from monday to sat and suddenly become holy on sunday. i'm tired of living like tt. i want to live a everyday christian :)
but i realise it's really not tt simple.. sunday i'm replenished reminded to live for Jesus. Monday comes the world starts to come into view.
Tuesday arrives and i start to behold the world.
Wednesday comes. I hope for friday to come quickly.
Thursday: i'm excited that tomolo is friday.
Friday: yay tomolo is weekend at last :)
Saturday: i want to enjoy my precious weekend.
In the whole week where is God? a part of quiet time. A part of my night prayer. A part of prayers before meals. But that is about it.
As the week progresses the world comes into view. What I do What I want becomes more and more impt. Until saturday. Completely 100% not a tint of God left in me.

Living in this world is really not easy. To behold everything else as nothing but only God as important. I kinda dread saturdays. It's the day my emotions run over. It's the day i'm so tired of trying to remember that i'm SHOULD be living for God tt somewhere..somehow...i will stop. sad i noi. retarded yes i am. but so human. The world sucks away what we actually live for. It's very difficult and requires much diligence to abide in Him always.

I'm afraid. Afraid of stopping again. And losing control of myself. Or rather losing sight of God. It's a terrible feeling. The day was dark. No light in the darkness i see. And yet God is gracious. God is always there. God alone is enuff for me. I shall never be worried or afraid. Even if He should take away everything from me. Everything I love. Everything i treasure. Because He alone is enuff :)

hmmm it has been 1 months since i last blogged...but it felt like eternity O_o seriously...hahaha it's not tt i didn't have time to blog..but it's just i was lazy to sit down to take time to organise my thots...hahaha...everytime i went online it was FACEBOOK O_o the makings of a facebook addict >.< OH WELLS...

ummmm..life has been mundane haha..not tt i dislike anything abt tt..but it's just work go home, work go home...a routined life. sometimes i want to do something EXCITING!!!! but mundane is really alright i guess O_o

i've have had a lot of thots. so much to say but i'm not sure how to write it down actually is not sure if i WANT to write it down.. where it can be used against me >.< or worst still..hurt the pp  i love...SIGH... maybe it's time to change a bloggy so that i can blog down how i really feel ):

sometimes when things ain't going right, it's time to stop and pray :) i love u all :) n i promise to blog soon :)

hello all..hahaha now y am i blogging at such a weird time? NO i'm not blogging at work..NO i'm not waiting for the clock to strike 6pm so tt i can go home..hahaha i AM at home ^.^ i took off today..hahaha coz i haven't been sleeping enuff for the past week ): boo hoo...oh wells...i woke up at 1130am today? hahaha but den i woke up like every hour starting from 730am hahaha so yeah not rested enuff ): and yeah i NOI PAMMIE I FORGOT U HAVING HOLIDAYS IF NOT CAN GO OUT Zzzz nvm...BLEH

haha i coped it off casandra's fb note...i am super bo liao..yes correct but..i think quite accurate leh O_o i got a shock when i saw the results..den i went back to play ard with the answers to see if i put another answer if it still sounds like me n i realise it doesn't O_o

please choose the answer that first comes to mind :) don't doubt urself :) as such enjoy the test at http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx do share with me ur results!!!!!!

my results are:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex. In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive, so you will find yourself with plenty of dates.

Your views on education

Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

oh a side note..thanks belinda for being cliche AHAHHA >.< I LOVES IT ^.^ and to the person who stayed up with me till 330am just to wait for my hair to dry >.< even tho u have to work today SO SORRY and THANKS! ^.^

maybe it's just the way i am..i realise i can only be closed to 1 girl fren at a time..haha..maybe i AM WHOLEHEARTED!!! muahahaha..opps..but watever the case..thanks for being with me for so long already. i'm sorrie for now we can't see eye to eye but i'm sure... after we both cool down it'll be alright again. until then, please do remember i do still love u. i can't explain why but right now it's just weird... like awkward ): maybe perhaps i have so much to hide. maybe perhaps my life is so complicated i'm ashamed to face u. maybe perhaps... i'm an eediot not being able to understand u all the way.
whatever the case, i'm still here. pls do tok to mee ok? sorry for my lack of courage. indeed i am noob. thank you thank you for having always been there with me all these while :) love love~

woo hoo i feel better after saying wat i wanna say :) u may ask y can't i just do it over msn..i dunno i can't..haha i blog down wat i'm unable to say :) until next time...hohoho...stay tuned~

eh honestly...i dunno wat to do..i'm so SO SO SO SORRIE ): but it can't be helped ): oh my gosh someone pls save me...and like no one understands wat i'm tokking abt yeah..like FREAKING AMBIGOUS! argh...ok nvm

emotional blackmail? yeah maybe perhaps but..yes i noi belinda dearie i'll will articulate it to him asap :) no worries i'm not the type tt suffers in silence..not for long anyways O_o n yes i feel like crying ):

i'm filled with so much insecurity i dunno wat to do with myself...i keep asking myself wat is it to me if God takes all i have away? wat is it to me if God wants me to go thru' this again? wat is it to me if God wants me to feel pain? so that He can show tt in the end only He is everlasting. tt in the end He is enuff for me..

i dunno belinda wat do i do now..where do i start, where is the end. i'm tired. i wanna go to sleep n never wake up..hahaha..eternal sleep >.< i do noi but i just don't want to admit it..i will pretend it din exist n bluff myself so well tt i forget wat was the truth...but ya i noi tt's not the way...

pass me by...

heee i promised to blog more often :) n so i will honor my promise..hahahaha...thank you to the pp who have been faithfully reading my blog and being worried for me >.< ya i'm sadist i make pp worry hahaha n feel happy O_o thanks to yan ting and janell for asking ^.^ i'm really alright...i guess..

i keep telling pp that i've changed. umm maybe perhaps i have. but some parts of me never change. as in like i dunno i've been telling myself to let go of the things i hold on so dearly. and when i tell myself often enuff i am able to do tt. but the moment i stop telling myself, i find myself clinging on to all the worthless things tt brings momentary happiness. which is.....worthless. it's been a struggle seriously. for mee lin to learn to let go of things she feels *notice i say feel* is important to her. *feel important coz it really is NOT IMPORTANT* to let GO of my inferior complex is REALLY NOT EASY. slowly but surely i'll become better den before :)

But whatever things were gain to me, these things i have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, i count all things to loss inview of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things and count them but RUBBISH so that i may gain Christ and be found in Him.                       Philippians 3:7-9a

oh yes i cried today. belinda i'm freaking noob i dunno wat to do i dunno wat i want hahaha.... i would like to run away n hide in some secluded corner of the earth. LET'S GO EUROPE SOME DAY N TRAVEL FOR A LONG LONG TIME~~ n n let's go science centre soon :) I MISS U MUCH n i think i need a hug ): ): ): ): ): ): on a side note, i love u the most :) we shall meet up asap :) i wanna learn belly dancing >.<

hello there...yes i have no idea wat i'm doing now once again. i feel so...messed up n confused i dunno wat to do...i wanna go into recluse in the mountains again. grow some plants and be happy.

but no one ever said living would be easy. no one said tt living a carefree life was ever possible. beneath the smiles beneath the lufter. saddness resides.

we hardly ever tok anymore. i only noi abt wat's happening in your life thru other pp. i hate it. absolutely. but i don't have the strength to tok to u anymore.

i'm so tired of living. i wanna go Home. yet i don't want to die meaninglessly. i wanna die for Jesus. sigh...i really wanna go Home. i'm sick of this world. sick of emotions sick...of being able to feel. pls just die n go away. thank you.

woo hoo update..hahaha how has everyone's cny been? hope it's been gooooodddsss having a fruitful harvest of ang baos..HAHAHAHA >.<

for me, my mother TOTALLY OVER COOKED i mean over prepared for the reunion dinner O_o coz she's very excited to do reunion dinner since last year we din have a proper one...i thank God that this year i am able to spend cny with my family :) really really...to spend cny alone like i did last year sucked totally to the core...i thank God for my family :)

umm...i...am weird..i feel weird n i shall not elaborate further. pretending that everything is ok doesn't mean tt it is ok...so yeah...i'm an escapist sometimes. i live in ignorance of my OWN thinking/feeling. hahaha but all in all i believe and i noi tt God is in control and that watever happens is for my benefit :) cheers~

i need to do work!!! but it seems i wun be able to do any this cny holiday >.< hurrrr nvm...anyways a longer update will come soon..it's really time to sleep :)

it's been a long time i noi..hahaha more than a month...coz i haven't had time to sit down n gather my thots. and it's high time i did. between parents n frens i made the choice to please my parents. altho yes i'm only young once and yes it's NOT FAIR TO ME!!! but..how long more can they live? and it's really not fair tt they should constantly worry for me. i'm missing out i noi but if this is wat God wants den heck to wat i want ^.^

i keep remembering just a few months back..maybe 3 months back? my foolish actions..it sends shudders down my spine i dunno wat the heck i was doing. why am i so weak again n again i give in to wat i NOI is NOT GOOD yet i give in. i yearn to do the evil instead of the good even tho i NOI which is which.. it scares me. the way i lived. the lvl i stooped to. just to be cared for. reminder to self not to stoop to tt lvl. coz i freaking regret it. it's disgusting and traumatising to think abt it. erase PLS.

i think i wanna pick up a hobby ^.^ photography sounds cooooll....varny~~ can teach mee? so tt i can occupy my free times with photography and photoshop :) i think it'll be happiness...

and yes i noi a new year new resolution: are YOU ready? hahaha i miss not being alone. hahaha but boiling down to it when i'm alone with myself i think i can get used to it. it's time to exit out of everyone's life and come back to myself. i noi i've been missing in your life too bel..hahaha it seems tt everytime when other stuffs occupy i exit out of ur life..but i remember u and think abt u! n miss u!!! constantly ): i will honestly and sincerely plan our meet up! where shall we go? i'm so excited~ my cam whore fren :) love ya~

my laziness is back i think i need to walk more...i'm so acustomed to cabs and cars tt i feel weird taking a bus. last month my bus fare amounted to less than $20. ahahhaha can u believe tt? there were like 4 days i din go to work but still O_o ridiculous right. i also say. i should stop getting used to this. coz none of this is mine. i need to learn driving n get my own car ^.^ but when will tt be? far in the future...
i'm tired n sleepy i shall continue when i can. stay tuned :)

sigh i did a REALLY long post but it disappeared n the pp who knew it disappeared din inform mE! wat the heck! ok nvm...i remembered wat i blogged anyways hahaa..somehow >.<

christmas this year is nostalgic...coz jy n me went ard town taking some pics already..makes me remember 2 years ago...we were taking pics in town too...n tt was the most illusive time of my life...hahaha...looking at all the christmas deco...the pp on the streets taking pics with the deco..so...familiar yet so foreign.....
1 year ago..this time...i thot i would not have made it...hahaha...so fast..1 year already u noi? the 1st 3 months of this year i struggled with God..n it was the closest i ever was with God...the next 6 months i spent in recovering...the other 2 months i spent in stupidity..haha really...dunno wat the heck i was doing...but oh wells it's over :) good riddance >.<

but alas...i'm not as diligent as i used to be anymore...not as close to God as i was...n yes it's time to spend more time with God den with man coz in the end tt is the ONLY lasting thing :) christmas this year is different...i will be celebrating it..with the pp i love :) the frens i love...for the 1st time in my life ^.^ n i wanna spend my christmas with jia yun and belinda :) the love of my life :) and TT will be sufficient for mee :) well n of course with my family lah...n yeah jia yun n belinda is like family to mee :) i LOVE both of u! :):)
and yes belinda pls meet up again soon ): we need NEW pictures!!!! with the christmas deco :)

oh and did i mention i LOVE the christmas deco this year?? hahaha it's purple n blue :) candies...i love it :) pls bring me to town any time :) i love the lightings at night :)

umm and so y haven't i been blogging?coz i've been using my phone to msn..hahaha so there is really no need for me to come online on my comp >.< n thus NO BLOG updates! haha...actually it's just an excuse so tt i don't check my mail..n ya guess wat..my DAD FLOODED MY HOTMAIL ACCOUNT..wat the heck he keep forwarding me stuffs he thinks is farni >.< roar.. n i dun feel like opening them >.< someone pls help me clear my mail >.< hURRrRrrrr...

besides tt...work is getting better? in the sense tt i'm beginning to know abit more..just abit n yes my ccna is PENDING..chris save me ): n yes i should study!!! ROAR pls remind me to study >.< i wan get ccna asap man...it's a nagging doubt behind my mind....sucks...

OH YA BELINDA DEARIE u never tell me wat u want for christmas yet! O_o or u want a surprise? hahaha i have NO IDEA wat to get u sia...so difficult >.<  pls drop hints of wat u want when we go out soon :) it's the end of november :) time to go arts museum :)

and i dunno wat to buy for jy too ): i'm dead hahaha...HURRRR die le lah must go shopping ALONE so tt can buy a surprise prezzie ): saddness..

oh ya on a side note aunty ong neo just passed away her cremation is tomolo so yeah if anyone is interested can join me i'm going :) but ya it's sads i hope i dun cry ): n yeah it's time to sleep...

it is time to blog once again..hahaha...2weeks? i think i havne't bloggeedd >.< coz everyday after work come back i'm like BUSY CHATTING O_o WITH MY COLLEAGUES...weird huh..like i don't tok to them enuff during office hours..HAHHAAH..actually nobody actually toks much during office hours coz they are all busy doing work...n i'm physically sitted at a diff place from everyone else ): OH WELLS...tt's y we have msn =)

i've been on course for the whole of last week..i think the most of the pp who reads my blog ALREADY noi..hahaha...CCNA course :) n yes chris i NOI ur jealous ^.^ hahaa but seriously....i'm the NOOBEST in class...totally cannot make it...the instructor noi tt i cmi n is kind enuff to answer all my questions even tho i think my questions are like TOTALLY FUNDAMENTAL..meaning..i really dunno anything ): saddness...but oh wells...i really should start studying...but the harry potter book on my table LOOKS ABSOLUTELY TEMPTING..die..i SHOULD STUDY!!!!but i'm SO TIRED ): sigh..

tomolo i'm going back to ntu..hahaha..got the feeling of returning to home...i think i miss..school..hahaha...kinky i noi...but so nostalgic..seriously..somemore go at night..reminds me of HRM...reminds me of andrew, najmi, jy, alvin, dj guyes....i miss...the times we were doing HRM project..hahaa dunno y..even tho it was TOUGH LOR..not the survey part NO...but the times spent preparing for presentation.. ^.^  after so long not doing any presentations i think i lost all my presentation skills ZZzz OH WELLS..nvm i got my HRM TEXT to help me...i miss NTU..n the comp lab, our 2nd home ^.^ nostalgic....

this reminds me tt my dear jy will be gone..in 1 n a 1/2 weeks....dunno since when i've become so very dependent on her... sorrie gal... but only because there is you..i think my life is clearer n less messy :) thanks for making me feel loved n special ^.^ i needed it and will always it :) THANKS GAL!!!!! love you tOOoooooo n pls take care of urself in wallaby ): come back in 1 PIECE pls...ty...

thursday is lynette's birthday :) so happy birthday in advance gal...u have a bunch of wonderful frens and absolutely wonderful parents :) u are indeed blessed. May you spread the blessings to others :) like ur already doing. Being a blessing in many other's lifes including mine.
today is kai yan's wei ting's birthday so HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :)
oh oh n yesterday i saw samuel!!! i MISS U LAH! come to CHURCH SOON!!!
and persis ^.^ we SHOULD meet up soon n catch up :) she's changed :) prettier by the second....

yesterday went ktv with my colleagues...at LAST..hahaha..n yEAH they can SING MAN! i wanna go again soon :):):):) yay let's go ktv soon again OK?! and if anyone ELSE is interested drop me a message :) but den!!!!! my weekends are fully booked until november ): sigh so yeah...i wanna go jazz on the beach on the 25th but got special meeting ): SO CAN'T GO! i wanan go prawning on the 27th BUT GOT SPECIAL meeting...so can't go ):

reminder to self: God is not an option He is a piority. Do not treat anyone as piority when ur only an option to them. God is NOT an option.

with tt, i end off by wishing all who is having exams ALL THE BEST!!!!! do well ok? FOR HIS GLORY!
A-lvls - daniel, manda, john
O-lvls - sarah the monkey
Finals - all the other youths, especially my beloved janell ^.^
miscellanous - km who is overstraining ):

i miss being young crazy n wild...as samuel puts it: i dunno wat the heck i was doing *all the crazy stuffs including STUFFING BANANA INTO HIS NOSTRILS* when i was 18. but now i must be more compose and...more adult like....
i kinda of hate growing up ): but if i don't pp will just say i'm childish n immature ): i want to smile n truely smile. i want to luff n truely luff.

it's amazing...how i met janice by coincidence on wed...she's like how she was in secondary school..absolutely crude and...NO SHAME..hahaha but i love her company really i wish i COULD be like her...to put down the masks i wear well at least the poker face i have cultivated...to luff n truely luff to be TRUELY ABSOLUTELY disgusting but still be loved :) i love u janice :) for u :) to fiona who's gonna be gone to a remote place on earth for a year i will remember u in my prayers :) n hope to see u soon ok? take care PLS! n both of ur ARE PRECIOUS TO ME OK! even if i dun contact ur..haha i just suck at keeping in contact...only thru msn..WHICH UR DO NOT USE..JUST COZ I DON'T STAY AT JALAN KAYU...ok nvm...hahaa...thank you all for being a part of my life :) yes janice pls meet up soon ): STOP BEING LAZY TO GO OUT ): saddnesss...
oh and btw janice i do pray for u every night :) belinda jia yun janice lisen sebas yan ting.. ur are in my prayers every night :) oh yes n adding to the list there fiona to pray for...n jacinth :)

I LOVE ALL OF U :) pls take care n yeah :)

oh my gosh~ i love jy!!!!! i luff so much ard her...hahaha...i wasn't very high today i think...but it felt happy to be going out on a friday :) it makes me feel..happy :) we should do this more often :)

1/2 way thru dinner janel smsed me. She asked if i was still working and when i said i was at dinner and going ktv later...she said: OH it's good to unwind after work. N...janel is 13 this year...HAHAHAHAHAA ok great a 13 year old tells me it's great to unwind after work Zzz...wat the heck right?hahaha oh wells...but thanks janel! for remembering me in ur prayers :) i can feel ur love :) i LOVE U TOO!!!!

so after work we went jack's place to eat...in celebration of she ya's birthday :) n reminder to self...rib eye steak is nicer :) I LOVE MUSHROOMS...ok nvm..after which we went ktv...DEN..supper...oh mine..i luffed SO MUCH at supper....tt....i feel tt my fats are becoming abs of steel HAAHHAHAA...ok sorrie...oh wells...oh did i mention i LOVE jia yun and andrew TOO...even tho they keep ganging up AGAINST me?! so terrible right? O_o but nevertheless it was fun :) i enjoyed luffing n going mad..it was almost as it..it was sheryl..HAHAHAHA  coz sheryl always goes mad with me..n here i FOUND ANOTHER MAD buddy!!! andreW!!! who goes mad..after a certain hour...tt's...NICE.. i like..HAHAHA coz i'm like tt TOOOOO....oh wells...if i can make anyone luff tt'll be enuff for mee hope all or ur enjoyed my company as much as i enjoyed urs :) heeee time to sleep.... F1 + meeting tomolo..HOHOHOHO...nights world..

jy i wan ktv ): suddenly miss u alot.. sigh yeah i'm mads...i just saw u on wed..but..sigh..i wan go ktv ): i wan sing all the sad sad songs..i wan to cry...dunno y too ):

i dunno wat to do...so i think i shall read the bible...sorrie for skipping youth today..i should make it a piority instead of an option..sigh...i want to step down...because of my own cowardance because of my own...silliness.....

pls help me not to lose focus...in the end...only God prevails..only He...is still here...for me...only He will be...

work is ok i guess..the week zzooommed by...nothing extremely interesting happened..but it isn't too boring either..got quite some...farni pp at work..so i guess it's all right :)

the only person in the world...who nois tt i'm crying n ask me to cry more..is jiayun..hahaha...thank you so much i smiled because of u...thank you for understanding...haha...i guess i needed it...i needed someone to tell me..u can cry..it's ok..n can cry MORE if it's not enuff...but pls cry n feel better :) thanks gal...really...

umm..yeah...i always blame myself...i CAN don't blame myself i can simply put on a mask...hahaa so simple..but is tt wat you really want? are u SURE? oh wells...so much flaws so little time..how to be Christ like before He returns sia..sigh...

monday = work..i dun really dread work tt much? maybe not yet..i mean at least it occupies my time? so less time to be emo? hee :) ok ba :)

BELINDA i'll MISS U WHILE UR IN CAMP! ): hurrr....

somehow...i feel emoed today..haha...reading jy's blog..hearing the song on her blog..pained me...more den i can say....i'm tired of this life i live...i choose to let myself be hurt...when can i get out of this cycle? slowly...just fade away...don't hate me pls...i dun really have a choice too..

help me not to fight oh God..against Your great mighty n perfect will...help me to let go..help me to trust You..tt everything is in Your control..tt even if i fade away You will still be there..You will still watch over him for me...thank You..

belinda dearie..i miss u ): come back from camp soon ): n safely pls...i miss u so much ): n somehow i just feel like...crying...something is wrong but i dunno wat ): i wan to tok n luff n smile..n pretend...tt i'm ok....

will someone..just give me a hug pls??